The strange day shopping
by HarUwHiTe2blAcK
Summary: Insanity....That is the subject.....Read, You must!
1. shampoo madness

**_The Strange Day 'Shopping' _**

_**Chapter one:**_

Yugi and his friends were walking down the street when they say Marick. Now, normally they'd run away screaming "Run for your lives, there's a power hungry tyrant loose" And, of course Tea' would add, "And, the poor soul has no friends."

But, today was not an ordinary day. You see, earlier that morning:

"PHARAOH! YOU STOLE MY STRAWBERRY SHAMPOO DIDN'T YOU!?" Bakura Screamed.

Across town, Yami, Also known as Pharaoh Atem, chuckled to himself as he spread the strawberry smelling shampoo over his head.

So, the gang's day wasn't going very well, as they needed to find the two because Bakura decided he was going to take his anger 'outside'.

Ryou, after learning that Bakura had just been so humiliated, (How not having shampoo is humiliating, only Bakura knows,) Decided he'd better call everyone up to look for him. Yugi organized everyone, Tristan, however was a bit reluctant to come, but when Ryou added that Serenity would be there, He jumped up, and faster than you can say: Skiddly diddly do, He was ready. Then, when Joey found out that this was the only reason Tristan had agreed to it, he beat him to a pulp.

So, back to the present. The six teens walking down the street looked rather odd. To a passerby, one might describe them as: A group of kids. One shorter than a hobbit with a large triangle pendant and starfish hair, another looking as though he'd just been pulled out of a sewer, (After Joey beat him)and had an amazing compass, I mean hair, on his head. They then might describe a girl with short brown hair mumbling about friendship, and how it's not nice to be mean. (Well DUH!) Then they might go on to describe a gangster looking boy, with hair that looked like he stuck a chopstick in it to keep it high in one area, who had his arm draped around a girl who looked three years younger than him. Then finally they'd observe a beautiful Girl with long white hair, walking beside them, and on Her neck she was wearing a large ring shaped pendant with an eye.

But that's just how any person walking down the street would see them. We all know that Ryou is a BOY.

(Ryou: Hn... It's not very amusing so far)

(Me: How 'bout I through you into the abyss, that aught to be fun.)

(Ryou: O.O you wouldn't dare!)

(Me: I'm the Authoress, besides I have .Hacksign music in the background.)

(Ryou: What does .Hack have to do with your torturing meeeeeeeee...........)

(Ryou falls in a big hole me: Ooops, don't worry he'll make a reappearance.)

So, the group of five, minus Ryou, who no one even noticed had disappeared, walked up to Marick.

Marick opened his mouth to ask them what they were doing, "Mfgafrafadfs."

Feeling kind of stupid for that, he tried again. "Mushigushiwantgum."

"Marick?" Yugi asked, showing concern for his unintelligible 'friend.' "What's going on, tell us what's wrong."

Marick, who by the way was blushing a very deep red, tried one last time "JUSDUTHUUSSSUSTAAAAAA."

Tea' walked over and put her arm on his shoulder, while everyone else pulled out their earplugs. "Marick, I know just how you feel, it's okay, we understand. I think that this is a great opportunity for us to learn the meaning of friendship. You see, everything the light touches belongs to a greater person. We all need to learn to put trust in our feet, because, after all, they are the ones doing the walking. When I met Yugi, let's see, when did I meet Yugi? Ah, Yes, He was stuck in an elevator. Because he was too short, unable to reach the 50th floor, but because I was his nephew I helped him! And so Marick-boy, if you don't get anything out of my speech, when getting your soap, dove is the best.

Marick, who could barely endure this torture, fell to the ground crying like a baby. Joey found it very a musing and burst out in laughter before walking into a Bar. (Get it, it's a joke: A blond walked into a bar. {A metal telephone 'bar')

Marick cried longer than anyone expected him to. "Mushgusijugertuferts."

And Yugi walked over to him patting his shoulder, "I told ya, if you planned on visiting Domino City, earplugs would be a good investment."

Marick just let out another fit of tears before Isis walked over, and upon seeing her younger brother sitting on the ground wailing, talking in words that weren't even, she grabbed his ear and dragged him away from his 'friends.'

The gang then proceeded to forget all about Marick, and walked to the store, for they were getting a bit hungry.

When they got there, the store owner ran out in front of Joey, who still had his arm draped over Serenity's shoulder, and yelled "NO, NO, NO! NO P.D.A.!"

"P.D. What?" They all asked in unison.

"P.D.A, Public Display of Affection!"

"She's my SISTER!" Joey yelled to his defense.

"Sure, and Shorty here's my grandfather!"

"SHE IS!"

"Um, sir," Serenity said quietly, "He _is_ my brother, but if you'd like him to remove his arm, he can."

"Whaaa, Serenity, don't let this guy boss you around! We'll take care of him!" Tristan said as him and Joey approached the store owner.

They then proceeded to knock the guy out, and both Tristan and Joey walked into the store, each with an arm around sweet Serenity.

Yugi and Tea' sweet dropped and followed them.

When they went inside Yugi realized that this store was a huge maze, like the labyrinth. "Wow, guys, isn't this store just like The Labyrinth?" But, he was speaking to nobody. His other four friends had disappeared.

"Tristan? Joey? Tea'? Joey's sister? ANYONE?!"

But no one answered. He was feeling so sad, no one answered him.

"WHY WON"T ANYONE ANSWER ME!?"

Yugi then proceeded to cry.

"Don't cry little boy" a Fairy said as she flew around Yugi's head. "Your friends need you. Please help them."

"Who...are...you!?" Yugi said amazed and confused.

"I am Tea's common sense. She lost me a long time ago. By doing that, she has turned me into this fairy, forever wandering. Only true love's first kiss can set me free back into her body."

Yugi listened very carefully to the fairy as she told him that his friends were in trouble. "An Evil force, one that has the power to put a person's soul into an inanimate object, is being used. Your friends are now..."

Yugi, knowing it was a job he'd have to do himself jumped up. Not even listening to what the fairy was going to say next, he took his duel monsters deck out. "It's time to duel!"

"But Yugi, Wait!" Tea's common sense screamed after him.

"NO I have to save my friends!"

As Yugi ran of the fairy sighed "I was going to tell him what inanimate object they were in. Oh well. There is nothing I can do now."

Well that concludes chapter Uno, Ichi, One. How did you like it?

Ryou: It bloody sucked.

Ryou! Watch your mouth young mister!

Ryou: Oh, are you my mom now? thinks I guess Bakura's rubbin' off on me.

Hmm, that's a good idea! Go to your room!

Ryou: I can't. You banished me to Hell, remember?

Ahh yes, I remember.

Ryou: When do I make my reappearance?

Well I'll give you a choice, I could fish you outa there, and let you be stuck in an 'object' or I could reincarnate you to be Tea's "True Love"

Ryou: Will I be cute?

Smile Of course, I mean Tea will love you smirks

Ryou: Make me an object. I don't like the look you have.

Phoooey. Okay an object you are.

Next Chapter: Of inanimate objects and Ryou's re-apperance.


	2. Dolls and donkeys

Chapter Dos, two, Ni: **Of inanimate objects and Ryou's re-appearance.**

What happened last time: Ryou please tell the good readers what happened last time.

Ryou: Grumble Go read the first stupid chapter if you don't know what's going on.

Ryou! You Naughty, Naughty boy you! Go to your room.

Ryou: If I don't.

You can be Tea's "true love"

Fine, I'm leaving. walks away

GOOD CUZ NO ONE LIKED YOU ANYWAYS!

Ryou: BAHUMBUG!

Okay while he goes and sulks I will bring to you chapter two. And, if you don't know what happened I do advise reading the first chapter. Disclaimer: Yu Gi Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi (It's Kazuki, right? I dunno, I looked at my cards twenty minutes ago.....)

Yugi wondered though the maze of Isles. He didn't find much, until he reached the toy section. (He still didn't find anything yet) "Tea, Joey, Tristan, Serenity, Weevil, Rex, Seto, Yugi!" Where are you guys!

Unbeknown to little Yugi, Bakura the perpetrator was in the store and saw Yugi looking for his friends. "The fool, he'll never find them. Wait, did he just call Weevil, Rex and Seto? BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. What a Moron! He even yelled his own name! Oh, wow, this is too good! Now to go get my some more shampoo, I think I'll change to cucumber melon, because strawberry's getting kinda old."

(How come all the evil people talk to themselves?)

Now, let's get back to Yugi. Yugi wondered through the toy section thinking about what object they possibly could be stuck in. "I know! Candles!" Yugi said as he raced off.

Meanwhile on the doll shelf five dolls sat lined up next to each other. They were Ryou, Tea, Tristan, Joey and Serenity! In there new predicament they only had three hopes, Yugi, Yami, And Bakura. But Bakura put them in dolls, Yami was hiding from a robber obsessed with his clean white hair, and Yugi was just plain stupid. Yugi however was unluckily lucky, so they trusted him more than the other two.

"Hey Joey" Serenity said, trying to get used to her Barbie arms (I don't own Barbie, and if I did, they'd be anime) "Do you think anyone will find us?"

"I'm not sure. Hey Tristan whaadya think?"

Tristan however wasn't listening, because he was busy convincing one of Barbie's friends, Rebecca, that he was the ideal choice over Ken, without much luck.

"If I wasn't a stupid doll, Tristan, I'd pummel ya! Can't you get a real girl?"

"Yea, I've got your sister."

"WHAT!"

So 'Ken' and his 'friend' got in a fight while Yugi was in the candle section. Tea just sighed, trying to figure out how Barbies talked with their mouths shut, and Ryou sat, very much ticked off.

Tea was the first to break the silent fighting. "You'd both better stop, or else I'll give you one of my speeches, and you have no earplugs to avoid it."

They immediately stopped, knowing that Tea was speaking the truth.

They sat in silence as a little blue fairy flew by. Serenity exclaimed "Oh, look guys. It's a pretty fairy!"

The fairy approached them and began to explain. "Hello, I'm Yugi Mouto's soul. An evil creature, the sky dragon turned him into an animal, his true form. I wasn't able to see what animal it was, but... The only way to save him is if... Hm... I don't know the only way... But, you're stuck here until, uh, until, Tea finds something she lost. I can't remember what it was."

Joey's arrogant self spoke up, "Hey you don't sound like Yug, 'cuz he never forgets stuff!"

"Yea, well what ever animal he got turned into must be dumb because I can't remember anything. At least I know it's not an Elephant."

"Hm, what dumb animal could it be...?" Tristan said, but he could only think of himself.

(Tristan: Hey!)

(It's true.)

"Well," said the fairy," I have to go find Yami because then I might be able to infiltrate his body he he he." With that the fairy flew away.

They sat around, and Joey challenged Tristan to a Duel, but since they didn't have their decks, they just used their memories of their decks. Tristan however didn't have a full deck, so he just pretended he had a powerful card or two, or three.

"I play Red Eyes Black Dragon in defense mode!"

"Why defense mode?"

"Because, uh, I can!"

"Okay then, I place Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon in attack mode! Ultimate Blue Eyes, White lightning attack!"

"Hey, that beat me! How'd you get such a powerful card in your duck? Huh? Tell me pointy hair!"

"I, Uh, bought it on Ebay..." (Disclaimer: I don't own Ebay.)

"Oh, hey wait... Isn't moneybags the only one who owns the Blue Eyes?"

"Um, no, they put three more into circulation, and, uh, I bought them..."

Ryou, who was now a bit disappointed in Tristan's lying and Joey's stupid ness spoke up, "You know Joey, only a fool would be dumb enough to duel a liar, and only a moron would be so stupid to believe one."

"What're ya sayin' buddy?"

"That you're a moronic fool."

"Hey! I resent that!"

"You don't even know what resent means! And, Tristan, do you even know what circulation means?"

"Oh, isn't that, that geometrical shape that's round?"

"I rest my case."

"You know you guy's we shouldn't fight, Yugi should be here any minute, and because we're friends..."

Tea was cut off by all three boys. "SHUT UP!"

Tea sat in silence for a few minutes when she heard a noise that startled her, causing her to stand in her Barbie body. "HEEHAW! HEEHAW!"

"What was that!?" everyone yelled in unison.

A donkey came into view, and Tea jumped up and gave the donkey a big hug.

"Oh, you poor little donkey I love you!"

With those words spoken Tea returned to her normal size and a bright pink light, that was her common sense, flew into her. The donkey then transformed into Yugi, as a blue light, that was his recently lost soul, flew into him, and he wasn't a Jackass anymore.

"Uh, hi Tea..."

"Yugi? Is that you? Why do I feel so smart all of the sudden?"

"Listen Tea, we need to find the others now! Someone turned them into candles!"

"No, they're right here." Tea said grabbing the dolls that were her friends. She also grabbed "Beach Barbie" for Tristan.

"Now what do we do?"

"Didn't you say something about Bakura being able to put a person's soul in an inanimate object?"

"I think"

Ryou, the doll found this as a wonderful time to give his newly smart friend and newly undonkeyd friend some advice. "You guys my Yami might want to go on a rampage if he doesn't get some shampoo."

"Okay then," Yugi said, "We'd better go find where he's gunna start his rampage!"

"No, that's not what I was trying to say." Ryou said.

"Then," Tea asked, "What did you mean?"

"I meant we'd better go to the shampoo section of the store to see if he's there."

"Oh..."

So they wondered over to the shampoo section, to find a crazy Yami smearing green shampoo all over his hair, laughing manically.

"BUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHMUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHHEHEHHEHEWEWEWWEHHHHHHHHHHHHHYUUHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOGOGOOGOGOGO"

"He looks exactly like Ryou..." Tea said quietly.

"Well, we have to ask him if he will put them back into their real bodies."

"Okay"

"Um, Bakura, could you uh, please put Ryou and the others back into their bodies?"

Now, normally Bakura would jump up, scream at them and run off, but he had a crush on Tea.

"I uh, I, They, Uh, You, Tea, I, Love, Can't, Tell, You, Okay!"

"Huh,"

"Okay Tea I'll do it! I'm so sorry for all I've ever done to you FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!"

"Uh, yeah, now put Ryou back into his body." Tea said as she held him out to Bakura.

"Yes, my majesty!" With That Ryou became human again.

(Me: ... Ryou, aren't you going to say thanks?)

(Ryou: grumble yeah, sure whatever thanks...)

(Me: (Hugging Bakura tightly): Oh! I love you tooo!)

(Ryou: Get Offa ME!)

Tea held out the other four dolls. (Remember, she picked up "Beach Barbie for Tristan?) "Now, make them human!"

"Yes, My Master!" and with that, Tristan, Serenity, Joey, and Barbie stood up, in full humanness.

"I can.... MOVE!!!!!!!!" Joey yelled and skipped circles around Bakura. "YAY."

Barbie looked around. "..." Then, Duke Devleen (sp?) walked in, and seeing Barbie, totally forgot about his love for Serenity.

"MAN!" Tristan yelled. "Any time I find a girl, somebody's got to take her away!"

And In the end, everyone lived happily ever after. Bakura, who now had a new obsession, Cough tea cough, treated Ryou a lot nicer, and made his hair a lot cleaner. Ryou learned to stop talking back to the authoress...

Ryou: No I didn't!

Me: Okay, fine by me, I hope you like Hell.

Ryou: What... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Falls into Hell

Tea started her own speech class, Yugi attended, and um... Tristan beat Duke up, but Barbie ran off with Marik, and Joey Protected Serenity, but she didn't care, she loved her brother too much. (Not that way Pervs!)

And Kaiba bought Australia.

Mokuba... Mokuba stole his brothers blue eyes, and was sentenced to prison. But Seto decided he wasn't gunna press charges, because having a brother in prison doesn't look good, especially if you want to make a ton of money.

OH! I forgot Yami!

Yami was hiding in the bushes giggling to himself "he he he I got Bakura's shampoooooooo hehehehe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Yugi eventually found him, but he was immediately sentenced to an Insane Asylum. "I _am _a 5000 year old pharaoh! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!?!?!?!!?!?!"

(Was it 5000 or 3000?)

Marik was finally able to talk. Turns out he had a bit too many inhalants.

(Marik's in a small room holding his sky dragon god card)

SNIFF AHHHHH that smells so goodoogogoogogoogoodoodogoogogogoogodoogogoogogodoooooggggggdoooooggood. MALFUNCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGK!!!! ISHIZU!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!

So, whacha thinks? Good, bad, do I need a shrink? Hey, if anyone knows of any good Physiatrist I'd really like to know the number, just don't mention my name, they'll go berserk.


End file.
